The first time I took myself out on a date, I’ll be honest, I felt awkward.
Did I felt guilty because I was doing things without my kids? Heck, yes!
There I was, sitting alone in a café, pretending to scroll on my phone like everyone else, while secretly wondering if people were judging me for dining solo. Spoiler alert: they weren’t. They were too busy taking selfies with their lattes.
Somewhere between the first sip of coffee and the last bite of cheesecake, I realized something beautiful, I was enjoying my own company.
That’s when it hit me: maybe taking yourself out on dates isn’t about filling loneliness. Maybe it’s about finally honoring the person who’s been with you through it all – you.
Because You Deserve Your Own Attention
For years, I was everyone’s someone. Someone’s wife. Someone’s mother. Someone’s daughter. Someone’s friend.
And while all those roles mattered, somewhere in between, I got lost.
After my separation, I had to learn how to be my own someone. That meant showing up for myself the way I used to show up for everyone else. So, I decided to take myself out, not because I was lonely, but because I deserved my own attention.
I went to the movies alone (my favorite!). Ate dinner at my favorite restaurant. Took long drives without needing a destination. And with each little “solo date,” I felt a piece of myself returning, the one who laughed easily, who noticed the world again, who didn’t need company to feel complete.
When you start dating yourself, you stop settling for half-hearted love. Because you finally understand the kind you truly deserve.
The Beauty of Doing Things Just for You
Here’s the thing, solo dates aren’t about isolation. They’re about celebration.
It’s buying yourself flowers just because they make you smile.
It’s walking into a café, ordering dessert first, and not sharing it with anyone (no judgment!).
It’s dressing up for no one but yourself wearing that perfume you love, putting on lipstick just because you feel like it.
These small acts of joy are love notes to yourself. They remind you that life doesn’t have to pause just because your relationship status changed. You’re still allowed to have fun, to enjoy, to live fully.
Confidence Grows in Solitude
The first time you sit alone in a restaurant, you might feel a little self-conscious. That’s normal. But by the third or fourth time, you’ll be sitting there like the queen you are, calm, content, unbothered.
That’s the thing about confidence: it doesn’t arrive fully formed. It grows with each small act of self-respect. Each moment you choose peace over pressure.
Taking yourself out is more than just a fun outing, it’s a declaration. It’s saying, I am enough. It’s proof that you can enjoy life without waiting for someone else to make it special.
And let’s be honest, sometimes your own company is the most drama-free company you’ll ever have.
Date Yourself Like You Mean It
If you’ve never taken yourself on a date before, here’s your gentle push: do it.
Start small. Go to a café. Take a long walk somewhere peaceful. Watch a movie alone. Visit a bookstore and buy something that makes your heart happy.
The point isn’t where you go, it’s that you go with yourself.
You’ll discover that the woman you’ve been searching for is already here. She’s just been waiting for you to sit down with her, listen to her, and maybe share a slice of cake.
A Weekend Challenge
This week, I want you to pick one thing you’d love to do and do it solo. Don’t wait for the perfect moment or the right person. Go, because you deserve it.
Because at the end of the day, the longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
So take yourself out. Fall in love with your own company. And when you do, you’ll realize this is what thriving solo really looks like.
What do you want to do solo this weekend? Share your thoughts in the comments. 🙂
Image source: Photo by Xhiliana on Unsplash
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